ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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