Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
