Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
