mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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