Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
