i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
