Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
There are leaves in my underwear?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
