no, he came in my armpit
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I fill condoms, not promises.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
