I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
