she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
