sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
