So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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