Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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