Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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