would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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