I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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