I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
