Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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