CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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