Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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