Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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