Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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