I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
