At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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