so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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