he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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