You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
