Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
