you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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