the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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