He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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