So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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