idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
