My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
