Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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