Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
