Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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