You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
