He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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