Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
