I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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