im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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