are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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