cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
