Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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