Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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