I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
