Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
