I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize