I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
True strength comes from lack of pants
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
