is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
